Tag: :(

thedevilof-hellskitchen:

okay but listen up these two geriatric dinosaurs are going to be the end of me. 

after tony finds out that the winter soldier murdered his parents and flies off the handle (understandably), steve and bucky fight him as if they’ve been doing it their whole lives. and yes, in a way they have since they were kids but james buchanan barnes of the howling commandos was a sniper and unless you count steve standing with his fists up while bucky punches the lights out of whoever is trying to punch the lights out of steve, i don’t think they’ve ever fought together in close combat. 

and they do it in perfect harmony, synchronized better than a bolshoi ballet academy teacher’s wet dream. 70 years later, post brainwashing, post deep freeze, post everything they’ve been through; it’s ingrained in their very damn beings because they always have and always will know each other better than they know their own goddamn selves. 

and don’t even get me started about the “i could do this all day” line. immediately all i see is scrawny, stupidly brave steve armed with nothing but the fierce determination in his eyes, barely able to move, still trying to stand up against bullies and needing bucky to come rescue him. well, fast forward 70 years and he’s admittedly much less scrawny, but just as stupidly brave (probably even more so) and this time he’s fighting for bucky. we know that tony is fighting to kill, and just like in the helicopter scene where steve basically seems to bypass the upper limits of human function, he gets up time after time and performs feats that should not be possible, super soldier serum or not, in the hopes that it can somehow make up for that time he couldn’t reach far enough from that train and let his best friend fall. 

but wait, tony gets the upper hand and who saves steve again? metal arm soldered off by an unforgiving repulsor beam, basically going into shock from the pain and on the ground, james buchanan barnes still manages to save steve rogers’ sorry ass. 

and later when tony says steve doesn’t deserve the shield? well fuck that, steve’s never wanted or needed the shield; all he’s ever wanted was to do what’s right, consequences be damned, so he just drops it without a second thought. the look on his face is so weary, guys, steve has been fighting in a war for 70 years and he’s never been able to escape the horrors of it but maybe now that he has bucky back he’s got a fighting chance. 

and the line that tony says in a trailer about how “the whole world was wrong about [steve],” well technically they all are because steve’s not perfect, and people seem to expect cap to be, so i’m in love with zemo’s creepy, unnerving comment about the hint of green in steve’s blue eyes and how it’s nice to see a “flaw in captain america”. the funny thing is steve is full of flaws; sure he’s a super soldier but he’s human, and a damn good one, but it irks me when people constantly put him on a pedestal. even initially in the first avengers, the way tony tries to hit steve the hardest in verbal sparring is by saying he doesn’t live up to the stories howard stark used to regale him with and that he’s nothing without the serum.

and after all of this? he writes tony stank stark a goddamn handwritten letter apologizing (although the abridged version of the letter basically goes “i got bucky back so fuck everything else”). his line about not liking the idea of tony rattling around a mansion on his own and how tony needs the avengers (family) even moreso than steve hurts so much because what’s unspoken here is BUCKY IS HIS FAMILY. he’s been “on his own since he was 18″ with nobody but bucky, so say what you will about steve being adaptable and 100% capable of living in the modern world but the fact still stands that he does not belong here; he isn’t supposed to be here. his time was supposed to be the 20th century with bucky and peggy and he lost all of it. 

oh and the best part about it all? steve only really became “Captain America” because his headstrong stubborn ass needed to go get bucky back. and as chris evans said on GMA, a lot of what makes steve steve and therefore what makes captain america so good is connected back to bucky. so when he drops the shield for bucky? it means a lot. captain america is a persona that steve rogers has to shoulder, almost like a burden since he never asked for any of it. and i’m not even gonna touch with a damn ten foot pole the colossal burden that bucky is trying to live with after his years as the winter soldier. i just wish the russos would have shown the scene with tony lying on the ground in siberia with not only cap’s discarded shield but bucky’s metal arm as well because it would mean that our two brooklyn heroes who have gone through hell and back are finally able to leave some of their burden behind.

so yeah sure, in summary, steve’s utterly compromised and now technically a wanted criminal and whatever but you know what i think? i think it’s about damn time steven grant rogers and james buchanan barnes found their way back to each other again.

yaahoooo:

“Я готов отвечать”

i was thinking about the first years of brainwashing BUT i’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time doing this shit. so im not even gonna look at it twice. im just gonna go eat cereals now

1/2) imagine, my dude… when Bucky fell from the train and was taken by Hydra, he held onto the hope that someone would come rescue him. He didn’t say it outright, and maybe continued to hold onto that hope for years even if it was a baseless, wordless dream. But sometimes, after a particularly bad session with Hydra, the soldier would allow his mind to wander and take him away from that place. It’s Steve, even if he doesn’t know his name. When he wakes, he remembers that he can never leave.

saferforeveryone:

2/2) Fast forward to when Bucky is safe with Steve and they are trudging through. They make progress somedays and take two steps back on others. Sometimes, Bucky wakes to find this huge, warm, safe person in his bed, and the Winter Soldier breaks a little because he knows this isn’t real but if he doesn’t move maybe he can pretend for a little bit. If Steve ever found out, of course he’d want to burn Hydra to the ground, but convincing Bucky he’s real and that Bucky is free is his main concern. 

He looks, he never touches.

He watches the rise and fall of Steve’s chest, the way his eyes flicker beneath closed lids while he’s dreaming, the minute twitches of his limbs as he starts to wake. He listens to the raspy ramble of Steve’s sleep-talking, the hitch in his breathing when he snores, and the only difference from memories of cold nights in their childhood is the missing wheeze in his chest. It should be grounding, it should be safe. 

That’s why he only looks, never touches. Because if he reaches out to touch warm skin and his fingertips meet cold sheets then he’s sure he’ll lose it. He learned it early on, that he could watch the bright figure standing near him while he was injured, scared, sick, but if he reached out then it would melt away and take the comfort with it. That it was better to not know if Steve was real than confirm he wasn’t. That if the delusion was all he had, then like hell was he going to lose it. 

So he looks, lets himself be comforted. And when Steve wakes he forces a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, because yesterday was bad and today is shaping up the same, and flinches when warm fingers wrap around his wrist. 

Real fingers, solid and strong. 

“I’m here.” Steve’s voice is rough, tired from the bad days and worse nights, but gentle as he guides Bucky’s hand to rest over his heart. His chest rises and falls, his heart beats, and he doesn’t disappear. “I’m real.”

“You’re here.” Bucky repeats, throat sore and eyes dry from being open all night, and finally curls into Steve’s arms. 

Even if the hallucinations are just getting better, he’ll take it. He doesn’t care if Steve’s real anymore, as long as he’s here.