dream and memory
Tag: :’)
bucky realizes he loves steve in a way that isn’t so brotherly when steve asks sarah rogers how she knew she was in love with his father.
“i looked at your father like he hung the moon and all the stars in the sky,” sarah replies, a small smile on her lips. “he was the only person i wanted to talk to forever and never quit, and whenever i looked at him, it felt like my heart sped up fast enough to beat right out of my chest.”
bucky looks over at steve and realizes that he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his whole life. he’d spend forever talking to steve and then some, and steve might not have hung the moon and stars, but looking at him is like looking directly into the sun. steve shines so bright that everyone else is dull in comparison. bucky looks at steve, and he realizes all of this, and his heart starts beating so fast he’s afraid he might be having a heart attack at fourteen years old.
then he looks away so his heartbeat will slow down, and he looks right at sarah, who’s staring right back, lips slightly parted and eyes filled with sadness. she looks at bucky, and then she looks at steve, and then her mouth opens and closes a few times before she says, “…and other people could see it in my eyes that i loved him, and some people didn’t approve. but boys, love is love and all love is beautiful. no matter who it’s between. don’t either of you ever forget that, alright?”
steve says, “’course, ma.” and bucky looks at her and nods, voice broken because she knows, she knows, and she doesn’t hate him. isn’t kicking him out and banning him from seeing steve and telling his parents that he’s broken. she knows, and she loves him all the same. she gives bucky a sad smile and bucky quickly wipes at his eyes before steve notices that he’s crying.
that night, when bucky is about to leave, sarah pulls him in for a hug and whispers in his ear, “there’s nothing wrong with loving him, sweetheart. i still love you, too.” and bucky buries his face in her shoulder and nods, trying to compose himself before letting go. when he finally does, he smiles again and whispers “thank you,” because that’s all he can think to say, before calling a bit louder, “see ya tomorrow, stevie!”
steve shouts back, “bye, buck!” and something inside bucky’s chest loosens even as his heart speeds up thinking of steve, because there’s at least one person in this world that doesn’t think he’s broken for loving steve rogers. and maybe if sarah doesn’t hate him, maybe, just maybe, steve won’t either.
MORE CATS!
i want steve and bucky’s first kiss to be after bucky comes out of cryo. he comes stumbling out, and steve’s there, steve’s always there, catching him with arms around his waist and soft calming not-words. and bucky just sags, shivering a little as his body really starts to wake up and realise it’s been cold for so long. then the pain, bubbling under the surface, and he’s used to it, he can ignore it, but the heat of steve against him is making it worse, not that he’d ever give it up
then his fingers are digging into steve’s shirt, clutching tight to the skin and muscle underneath, probably hurting steve but steve doesn’t even flinch. just keeps murmuring wordlessly, rubbing a hand up bucky’s back, down his spine. over and over until bucky’s shivering turns to shaking. then steve realises his shirt’s wet where bucky’s got his face tucked in, and holds him tighter, both arms so tightly wrapped around him that his fingers are nearly white from the pressure.
then bucky. bucky doesn’t even hesitate, just surges up and mashes his mouth against steve’s, and steve’s shocked at first but quickly gets with the program as bucky clutches at his shoulders, fingers bruising against steve’s skin. steve hauls him in closer, kisses bucky for all he’s worth, gasping into his mouth, teeth clicking, and bucky’s making these hurt noises, but clings when steve starts to pull back in concern.
eventually they’re just breathing into each others’ mouths, and the room is empty, scientists having left when they realised bucky was crying, and eventually bucky pulls back just a little, eyes wary but lips curling slightly into a hesitant smile. hi he says quietly, unsure.
hi steve responds, smile spreading over his face, before his fingers dig into bucky’s hips slightly and he adds i missed you.













